And that boy that wastes your time by informing you about nothing really is about to commit that crime again. And trust me, he’ll get away with it. Not his fault, rather, yours. You allow him. then let him go scot-free secretly wanting him not to repeat it. On this one, I’m gonna make your imagination as sexy as mine. Maybe “sexy” is a little too decent as people I’ve discussed this topic with would rather call me a “perv”. But I’m not. My imagination is just too sexy for most people to fully accept, so I’m branded as a pervert. Such a judgmental society
Back to the topic!
Have you ever noticed that everything in this world is sexual? Ranging from the simple things you do, to the food you eat. Still haven’t noticed? Well, lemme give you a simple example. Now, you’re in class, you finish writing your notes with your pen, you cover it, and then you slide it down your pocket. Sounds normal right? Noooo. Big lie! That is just perverted. Its just that you haven’t noticed. A pen is always brimming with ink (which we could call “Juices” ) and so you have to “Cover” (or protect) it before “Sliding” it into your pocket. Get the picture? Anyways, pens were made to be sex toys. That’s why they usually end up in many people’s mouth :&
But I’m not here to talk about your perverted school actions, I’m here to talk about food. Yes, food is sexual. We’re just gonna touch a range of foods and then call it a day, Cool? (Oh, notice how I said touch? Yeah, it has nothing to do with this, you just wasted some seconds reading this useless bit of information )
I’m going to avoid the most obvious sexual foods like bananas, cucumbers, galas etc. From their shape, its obvious it was designed for female (and the ‘charly boys’) pleasure. Now to the foods.
Watermelons: Ever looked at a busty girl, admired her “Melons” and wonder if its possible to set p with her and possibly quench your “Thirst”? That’s why the name is there. Water Melon. Watermelons are highly sexual. Always big and soft. Notice that you have to remove the outer layer to get to the inner prize? Still don’t get it? Now imagine a bra and boobies. You have to get past the outer layer (bra) to enjoy the inner prize. Wankers, you’re welcome. Now you can wank to a watermelon.
Yams: At this age, its hard for some people to deny that they’ve never seen, or have no knowledge of what a penis looks like. Well even if you’re not in denial, haven’t you ever wondered why yams are so big, hard, and hairy? Mother Nature is a big pervert. So ladies, if you’re tired of using your hands, you now have a new instrument. See you in the hospital!
Mangoes: The only reason why I like Mother Nature is because she isn’t sexist. Females have their sexual foods, so do males. Mangoes are sexual. Or am I the only one who grabs a mango with my two hands, caresses it ever so gently while gently lying down and sucking on it as though my life depends on it? So if you’ve never sucked boobies before, guys, this is a perfect substitute.
Oh, and mangoes are kinda unisex now that I think about it. The way you move your head up and down it while you stare at that mango with a look that says, “I’m gonna suck you dry” Get the picture ladies? Mangoes have seeds, so you’re also teabagging. Have fun multitasking
Pounded Yam: Now most of you think that there can be nothing sexually wrong with pounded yams but you’re wrong. Let’s start the process with two things so sexual, I wonder why parents let their kids see them using these instruments. We call them the pestle and the mortar. If you pound yam, you’ll know how sexual these instruments are as the mortar continually keeps ramming the pestle with occasional rotations left and right when you’re tired. Also, once in a while, when you want to check how soft it is (no one really likes “Soft” pounded yam, you “Touch” it and “sprinkle/shower” it with water. That’s called climaxing)
Indomie: I feel so bad for many children as they digest this food and smile without knowing how sexual they look. From the name, “In” “Do” “Me” you can see it already. What is In You that wants to Do you? Also, I’m sure many people have had moments when they’re rushing their indomie so much they “Stuff” it in their mouth, “Slurp/Suck” it and then it occasionally splashes water on their face. Now isn’t that similar to a Bukakke?
Okay, I’m just gonna stop there now. But not to worry, there’s is going to be a sequel (With that smile of approval on your face, now tell me who’s the pervert), Who knows, I just might do another “Nollywood” on this one (If this is your first time of visiting here, you might have to read previous posts to understand that). Thank you for wasting time reading, but I hope I’ve opened your mind to the various sexual things that go on in our world today. Sha follow @she_sorcerer and lure a friend to waste their time too. Hayor’s out, over!!
McDREAMIE's PENCRAFT 