COOL STORY III

Oi! What’s good? *sigh. You’re obviously annoyed/worried/angry with me for not making a new blog post for almost a week and I accept this blame but please just hear me out! I’ll try and explain the predicament and why I couldn’t write another story. If you’re on my blog for the first time, well hi! I’m O’Jay, O.J, Mr O.J, Mr Sexual, Ode, Dumbass, Hayor. It’s really nice to have you here on my blog 🙂
Today, as I’ve been doing of recent, I shall tell you a cool story. One that doesn’t surpass others, and is probably more boring than the rest, but its not like you give a shit anyways. You just wanna laugh at somebody’s pain. Heartless people ( ._.) One of these days, I’ll hear your story and I’ll be laughing at YOUR pain (ง‘̀-’́)ง

The Cool Side of Life III

The Boy has awoken from his slumber but this time, he doesn’t need to roll over the bed, flip any switch, jump up from bed like he’s late for anything. First of all, The Boy doesn’t sleep on any bed. He sleeps on the floor like a real nigga! Secondly, he’s now in a better place with constant electricity. Lastly, ITS SUMMER! So there’s simply no need to be bothered about waking up early or late. The Boy looks at his Blackberry to see 32 BBM messages waiting to be replied. He immediately just sighs and feels its too early for all of this, so he falls back asleep and doesn’t wake up till late afternoon. By then, he is greeted by one of The Guys who had also just woken up, but had stuff to do on his laptop so he just came to pick it up and leave.

The Boy only had one thing on his agenda for that day, and that was football (Or Soccer or whatever you people call it. Only in this stupid country do they call a game where feet are utilised more in playing, Soccer, and a game where the hand is used more in playing, Football. Retards. Retards Everywhere). He was in no rush to take a shower either ways. His plans were cut short immediately his brother came out of the room to call his other brother for the weekend plans. Sadly, The Boy learned (from eavesdropping on The Guys’ conversation) that he was going to have to be away from the house for the weekend as The Guys had plans for the weekend which involved the house, females, and some drinks. You do the maths.

Fast forward a lil bit, and here we have The Boy, neat and tidy after taking his long and feminine like shower :$ Don’t judge him please. Just because he lives like a man doesn’t mean he isn’t in touch with his feminine side. So he eavesdropped again and heard that he’d be away for just a day. Apparently bros had booked the house down for Friday and early Saturday but he’d be picked up after the wedding which The Guys were meant to attend on Saturday. So The Boy, being a pig nigga, decided that since he’d only be there for a night, there was no need for his laptop, a change of clothes, toothbrush/toothpaste, toiletries, or even a phone charger since he could easily come home and shower, brush his teeth, and charge his phone and laptop later Saturday night. I mean, it’s just a night and half a day right? Except, so The Boy thought.

The Boy was dropped off at the house of a friend of one of The Guys. The Boy was used to this place. He just didn’t like it as much because everyone was always in their rooms and nobody likes to come out because they have their own TV. Either ways, The Boy settles down in the parlor while everyone moves to their room to go and do whatever they like. The Boy’s phone is the first thing to die and he’s already beginning to regret not taking his laptop but he soon saw that regret as a waste because everyone in the house seemed to not know they Wi-fi password of the house. Apparently their excuse was that “Its been a while since someone asked for the password though and personally, I can’t remember the password.” The Boy just bore all this and decided to watch a little bit of TV to console himself that its just for a night, so there really was nothing to worry about. He passes out on the couch moments later.

The Boy then wakes up in the morning and sees everyone up and doing, getting ready for the wedding that The Guys were also attending. The Boy didn’t want to go because he didn’t plan on going, and also, it was just too early to be awake let alone taking a shower. Before The Boy could go back to sleep, one of the three friends (whom we shall call Mr Phd) tells him to get dressed so they can go grocery shopping. Now The Boy is familiar with this technique, but he doesn’t have the heart to complain. So he dresses up and follows Mr Phd to the grocery store and they start selecting the cheapest things they can buy. Mr Phd asked The Boy how much he had and he initially lied that he had $10, but when they got to the counter and he found out that Mr Phd, AS ALWAYS, didn’t have enough money for the items bought, The Boy had to empty every dollar, every single dollar he had been saving to see friends, every single dollar he had been saving to take chicks out, every single dollar he had been scraping and saving for summer, go away from his wallet just to pay for the groceries. *sigh. This always happens

Anyhow, on returning home, The Boy learns some shocking news from Mr Phd. Mr Phd said that one of The Guys called and said that it seems that The Boy might have to stay till Sunday to which The Boy just bears gently. After Mr Phd drops him home, he then follows The Dr and His Nurse out to the wedding while The Boy is left to fend for himself at home. Now, The Boy isn’t that bad a cook, but unless its Plantain or Indomie, I won’t advise you to eat any of The Boy’s hand made dish because you just might suffer food poisoning. The Boy nonetheless finds a way to take care of himself, take a shower and had to wait for his body to dry since he had no towel. He then licks some toothpaste, gargle with water and swallows. Yes, you can tell that’s because he didn’t bring his toothbrush. No change of clothes, so The Boy just decides to wear only his singlet and boxers. Mr Phd, The Dr and His Nurse return later, obviously tipsy, talking about the wedding till they fall asleep around 2am. They actually kept The Boy awake till 2am because they kept on asking him questions which he gave no shit about.

Sunday comes, everyone’s asleep. The Boy happily sleeps and waits for someone to come out and make breakfast. He waits in vain as no one comes out till late afternoon/evening to prepare food and he was already starving. After eating and waiting patiently, none of The Guys shows to pick him up. The Boy gives up on waiting for them by 1am and goes to take his shower, wait for the air to dry him up, gargled with toothpaste and water, then singlet and boxers routine. He repeats this on Monday, and Tuesday, and Wednesday, and it finally came to an end late Thursday when one of The Guys came to pick him up.

Now The Boy finally gets home, feeling like a pig with his 5 consecutive day old singlet and boxers, improperly brushed mouth, and whitish skin (thanks to no cream/lotion) to meet the house in a complete mess with rice and chicken on the fire. He settles down all the same, eats, takes a shower, cleans himself up, and calls it a night. Never again though, will he EVER, even if it’s for a day, spend the night out unprepared.

Yeah yeah yeah, I know, you were expecting a super chilled story after no posts for a long time, but what can I say? Its not my fault The Boy was taken by unexpected circumstances! Follow @shysarcasm and have a nice day! Lest I forget, The Boy is now a graduate and the feeling is better experienced than described. In that case, read your book o. The fear of syringes hasn’t made me complete my medicals though and I hear its a requisite for graduation. Isn’t that mean and Unfair? I wanna wish my uncle, Dele Salami a very happy Birthday. Later then..You wont have to wait long for another post though, I promise.